Flashes and dots.
I watch a lot of television, as you might surmise from my lengthy posts with only a modicum of actual content between them, and last week was no exception. I promised you advice on better living, and here it is.
- I liked The Shipping News. I still have no idea what most of the Newfoundlander characters are saying, but that just proves that the dialect coach should have won an Oscar. (Speaking of which: if anyone can tell me the name of the movie that had Scottish-to-English subtitles, I'll give you a dollar. Seriously.)
- I still like X2, but certain parts of it really irk me. The two female leads, for example. Now, Halle Berry can act sometimes, I've seen it (Monster's Ball, Die Another Day, and Losing Isaiah come to mind), but nobody's ever given an Oscar to Famke Janssen. There is a reason for this. Even Meg Ryan, America's Perkiest Cuckolder, looked good when they stuck poor Hugh Jackman into a frame with her. Famke ain't hard on the eyes, as my beloved Uncle Fred would say, but she cannot act. Can. Not. Act. It's like asking Dustin Hoffman to dunk a basketball, or Ben Stiller to be funny without a solid supporting cast. Never happen. Halle looks like she's about ready to take a nap, even during the action sequences...maybe she was all tuckered out after Monster's Ball. I was.
- If I Should Fall From Grace With God is a phenomenal documentary about Shane McGowan, the once and future leader of the Pogues. If you don't know who they are, go find out. It's what WinMX is for, for Grodd's sake. While you're doing that, I'll summarize: Shane is a transplanted Irish drunk in England. Shane took traditional Irish music and tugged it sideways into rock. Shane has a knockout girlfriend who thinks he's the greatest Irishman since Dylan Thomas, and he's still drinking more than any rugby team I've ever seen. Every slogger in an "Irish band" (the Reilly Clan, the Highland Rovers, Black 47, the Prodigals, the Tipperary Knights, U2, etc.) owes Shane, and most of us admit it.
Shane is truly blessed, truly touched, and truly gifted. Here's to the man, and to the biographers who did such a great job without demystifying the situation.
- Mean Machine is the English Longest Yard. It stars Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham. They made Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, as well as Snatch (two of my favorite movies, if you bothered to read the profile). This is good, if lightweight, stuff; I imagine the pitch was "Imagine Bend It Like Beckham, but with convicts." This movie will not raise your consciousness, but it will make you laugh a bit. That's good too.
See, Muggs? I can write about movies, THEN switch it up to a more serious topic. I'll write about the serious thing later.