The Greatest Story Never Told.
WARNING: This story contains elements of graphic and mature content. Some names were changed to preserve dignity. For others, it's too late. If you are easily offended, go away. Now. This isn't for you. If you're OK with stupid college kids being stupid college kids, you can stay.
It was the second week of May 1992. I can remember it quite clearly (it was a sunny day; I took Jones Hill to Wagner Place to Elm to Campbell to Forest, then cut over by Sheridan Middle, across Whalley and down to Valley Road, then took a left on Blake and a left onto Hard St., a right onto Austin; Delbert McClinton's "Every Time I Roll The Dice", the Spin Doctors' "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", and The Black Crowes' "Hotel Illness" were on the radio that night, and their "Thorn In My Pride" would escort me home in the morning.) The birds were singing, the Kraft-Mac-orange sun was almost setting, the beer was in the trunk, and there were supposed to be all kinds of prospects at the party that night. I had about twenty bucks and a fresh pack of Newports in the pocket of my good purple paisley shirt, my beloved 1985 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale had a full tank of gas, and I'd shaved recently. All was right in the world, and I dare say I was at my most pimptacular, given my circumstances.
It was very nearly the last day of my life. Looking back, it might not have been the worst way to go.
WARNING: This story contains elements of graphic and mature content. Some names were changed to preserve dignity. For others, it's too late. If you are easily offended, go away. Now. This isn't for you. If you're OK with stupid college kids being stupid college kids, you can stay.
It was the second week of May 1992. I can remember it quite clearly (it was a sunny day; I took Jones Hill to Wagner Place to Elm to Campbell to Forest, then cut over by Sheridan Middle, across Whalley and down to Valley Road, then took a left on Blake and a left onto Hard St., a right onto Austin; Delbert McClinton's "Every Time I Roll The Dice", the Spin Doctors' "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", and The Black Crowes' "Hotel Illness" were on the radio that night, and their "Thorn In My Pride" would escort me home in the morning.) The birds were singing, the Kraft-Mac-orange sun was almost setting, the beer was in the trunk, and there were supposed to be all kinds of prospects at the party that night. I had about twenty bucks and a fresh pack of Newports in the pocket of my good purple paisley shirt, my beloved 1985 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale had a full tank of gas, and I'd shaved recently. All was right in the world, and I dare say I was at my most pimptacular, given my circumstances.
It was very nearly the last day of my life. Looking back, it might not have been the worst way to go.
posted by Thom Guthrie, Bassist and Adventurer at 1:09 PM
7 Comments:
Jonathan Marro- Tom, should I cry out "author, author"?
A solid beginning to a very interesting life 'according to Guthrie'...all too real, I'm afraid to say.
You know it's all true. Hence the warning.
See, now this is what I was talking about on Sunday night, buddy.
Um...what did you say, again?
Was that when you said "At least THIS Japanese wrestler made it to the ring with his dignity intact" or "I'll be right back, I forgot to pay the call girls"?
No, when I was talking about restarting my novel as a blog.
Oh, that.
Yours'll be better, though. You've got a much stronger sense of composition than I do.
Hi Thom, as you know, that was quite a night for all of us in attendance. I am still reeling from the repercussions of my drunken actions of that night. I had actually forgotten about your relationship with "D", my old roommate. But the part of your story where you have her leaning over the porch banister.....ah the memories! Is it ok if I send a link to Jen? I think she has finally forgiven me and "D" for instigating the party and inviting all those people. But then Jen never could turn down a party in those days! I am not sure anymore who invited the jocks, but your moment of mortal terror aside, they were good for a few laughs. Including when "D's" ex, Jan (pronounced John) decided to take me into his confidence. Please don't forget to include the culmination of the evening.....I am looking forward to reading the rest your story. It is very interesting seeing through someone else's eyes the events of that night. I hope "the Ferret" also writes about his experiences that night.
Love,
Kat
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